Lander, WY – The local student maintenance crew at Wyoming Catholic College, Flex, has just reported that they have thwarted and popped a party balloon that was wandering through the hallways of WCC’s Baldwin Building.
According to their supervisor Tim Curls, one student assigned to lockup last night had found the balloon floating through the building’s stairway, “suspiciously close to Dr. Glenn’s office and bearing markings showing it to belong to WCC rival Thomas Aquinas College (TAC), but we decided to hold off on popping it in order to protect innocent bystanders and private property.”
TAC claimed last night when news first broke of the balloon’s presence that it was simply an innocent party balloon that blew off course, but WCC security expert and graduate Matthew Andrews says this was “obviously false” given “TAC’s long history of espionage against WCC.” Andrews led calls from opposition leaders (people who are popular at WCC but not prefects) to pop the balloon immediately, but it was not until noon today, after over 14 hours of the balloon’s wandering of the Baldwin Building that the WCC president Dr. Glenn ordered Flex to shoot it down, a feat they accomplished with five men and eleven pencils at around 12:15pm today.
Several more balloons, however, also bearing TAC markings, have been reported around other WCC buildings at around 1pm local time.