Lander, April 12, 2019: Last Sunday the following surprise meeting announcement was made, concerning the housing situation next year for Wyoming Catholic College students. As the school announcement states:

We now know what the housing situation will be next year and it will be different than it has been this past year. Therefore, Mr. Tonkowich and I will hold a meeting in Frassati at 6:30pm tomorrow (Monday evening) to explain what it all looks like.This is not a mandatory meeting but I HIGHLY recommend that all current juniors, sophomores and freshmen attend!

Rumors of big changes had been in the air for weeks but the fact that no written announcement was made and the school thought it necessary to call a meeting brought  further confusion to a student body already highly unsure as to what to expect. 
Theodore Terreri

Having already been tricked several times before by prank announcements many freshmen rockers suspected more of the same. Freshmen Curtis Shine of Massachusetts says his first thought was that the meeting was but “a trick to get everyone but the seniors to plan a farewell event for them”.

Closer to the “stated” purpose of being about student housing next year, rumors supposedly to have originated from college leadership suggested that the school was moving everyone to tents on the roof of Frassati Hall.

“I wouldn’t have minded if that were the case” said Junior Theodore Terreri of Virginia, an outdoor aficionado who reportedly spent the first semester of Freshmen year sleeping in a tent inside of his St. John’s dorm room.

But Theodore’s interpretation was not the only wild rumor WCC students have received. Freshmen David Gleason said he had heard from “reliable sources” that WCC  was moving everyone to camping down in Sinks Canyon. Several also heard stories that the school was moving to a rotating sleep and class schedule that would see men sleep at day and have classes at night, women the reverse, and only half as many dorms needed with their use alternating between men and woman from day to night.

Many were uncomfortable with this idea, and there were popular suggestions that regardless of what was to be announced that students should take matters into their own hands and “raid the NOLS hotel until they give it up.” Moralists sprinkled amongst the student body rejected this out of hand, so when it was time for the actual meeting, no one was sure of anything.

But the meeting gave no actual information, other than a vague, “Things will be different and you’ll be somewhere.” Angry students stormed out after it became clear following an hour of sophistry that nothing was really going to be said. Only when a draft document was leaked from the student life office did people calm down, but only to a calmer rage with the discovery that the school was simply going to move everyone at the hotel to dorm rooms already filled to capacity.

“How can they do this” is the question on everyone’s minds as rage itself returns to the student body that wants to officially learn about the situation. “Its not fair to squeeze three or four people into each of the Holy rosary dorms. Why didn’t they say what was happening at the meeting?”

Thus we find ourselves back where we started, with rumors again on the fly that the meeting was really but another trick by upperclassmen. And that may be the revelation today, as Everett here at IIT reports that an announcement is being made today that the whole situation was but a contrivance for super-secretive research project by Dr. Bolin into human psychology.

This offers hope to tired and confused minds. But what if its a double trick and the school rumor of doubled up housing is actually true. If that’s the case, its probably too much for each student’s spirit to stand.