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Lander, WY – In order to address serious issues noted with the Baldwin Building’s traffic flow and security, the Baldwin Triumvirate in cooperation with Irkutsk Ice Truckers’ Engineering Division conducted a year long traffic flow study whose results have been released today.

Confirming anecdotal reports, congestion in the hallways, not due, we are glad to report, to PDA in the hallways, is up 38% year-over-year, and measured in terms of space occupancy per square foot per hour, has roughly doubled since the school last performed a more rudimentary study in 2016. 

This is even as many classes moved in 2017 to the Augur building and as such traffic flow is growing five times faster than the student body, cannot be linked merely to growth in that regard. Rather, students are meandering, spending needless time standing in the hallways, or making avoidable trips around the building due to not planning ahead. These problems are of course present throughout the campus, but as the school’s largest, and busiest building, traffic problems are most acute here, and demand the most immediate response.

Door blockage minutes, the amount of time when someone is actively standing in and blocking a doorway are up 49% while, with new key-card system has quadrupled door inoperative time due to multiple doors being completely inoperative for weeks at a time during the course of our study.

In response to these terrible concerns, the school is still investigating methods of response which may include further rearrangement of furniture, walls, doorways, and the like, but it is also considering other measures, such as banning longboards or adding paid bouncers who will help redirect traffic flow at the busiest times.

Until final decisions are made, however, they are collecting public comments via this form below: