Yesterday morning, IIT staff received suggestions that the baking supervisor has been abducted.  The first report came from the freshman baker Mike Bolson.

“She seemed completely different this morning.  I mean, I haven’t been baking long, but even I could tell that something was up. Honestly, I’m not sure if it was even really her.”

This statement was determined to be of great concern by our security systems, so we set out to investigate further.  If the baking supervisor was abducted, it is possible that the perpetrator could be seeking to contaminate Crux, or do some other nefarious deed.  Based on the urgency of this report, we consulted Omnisciens himself, who ran an undercover mission to investigate the bakers.

“Mr. Bolson’s report seems to be completely accurate,” he said.  “Last year, the supervisor expressed great disdain for love songs and criticized the ones that came on.  I am told that it was great fun to listen to her explain how the songs got everything about love wrong.  In any case, while I was there, not only was the supervisor not criticizing the love songs, but she was even putting them on!”

IIT supercomputer analysis of this and other reports has found upwards of 90% difference in personality from last year.  Therefore, it is our sad duty to report to all that the true supervisor has been abducted.  Now, the question turns as to why.

Why would someone abduct the baking supervisor?  Who would be able to do such a thing?  Is it the Spartans seeking to expand their control into the college itself?  Is it aliens doing their usual thing?  Is the government trying to discern the origin of “Canadians?”  Whatever the case, you can be sure that IIT will continue monitoring the situation, and keep you informed as soon as there are further developments.

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