In a bid to improve retention amongst certain work-study jobs on campus at Wyoming Catholic College, it appears that the Student Life Office who manages the program has quietly renamed the official titles for several positions. New names, as the theory goes, will increase job pride, and thereby pleasure due to people possessing a better title, and will also give workers a more interesting thing to say about themselves at cocktail party introductions, increasing their overall happiness and job satisfaction. (Unless, would have to say Coffee Parties in order to be a little more realistic as to what they would be for most students?)

Looking at job listings and requirements from a copy of the annual guide on them which several IIT sources gained access to, here are a few of the interesting title changes we’ve noticed across the board.

Flex, already renamed from Super-Flex, is now going to be titled “Wyoming Catholic College Security”. Lock-up is part of the job, but interestingly they’re now highlighting the whole department as “Security” and calling the supervisor a “Security Chief”. Are there more threats that they handle that we just don’t know about against the safety and security of the community as a whole?

Bake Crew will now be called “Early Risers”, which to us seems much more like a pun on a title than a title, but alright, it does describe the schedule quite well for those who are there. Some had considered not giving them a title at all, to go along better with the non-existent land from which the supervisor claims to hail, but having no name might lead to a little confusion in what’s already one of the most technical jobs on campus.

Sacristans will be called “Liturgy Engineers” to go along better with what they actually do. In addition to a title change, some at the school had been pushing for them to be ordained priests in order to increase “the priest to ___” ratio, incredibly important, but below average for “high maintenance” Catholics such as those at WCC.  This was not approved by the local bishop, however, but it appears that they will now also be in charge of writing sermons for the priests on a more consistent basis in the coming year.

Tutors will receive a much more technical-sounding title, seemingly to reduce ambiguity which saw juniors Raymond Engles and Julia Kuplack hailed as what we would here call professors on a simple visit they made to TAC. They’re now to be called “Non-Professorial-Teaching-&-Study-Buddy-Assistants” to echo a comment Magister made last month about them being “paid-study-buddies”

Sunday Crew will be simply titled Ruthie’s Family, since that is what everyone calls it anyway, and because sometimes the Sunday Crew is indistinguishable from Ruthie’s family.

Lunch Crew would have been retitled something, but there really isn’t anything to title, as only one person who works on it is actually a student. Unofficially we suppose it will now be named after him, but there was no name listed for it in the handbook, so some suppose this to mean there will be no “Lunch Crew” at all next year.

In addition to the renamed positions, it appears the school will also add several Bouncers, next year, an intriguing title already. Nothing appeared in the handbook with reference to this, but several IIT sources deep within WCC administration have reported that they are near to announcing it “soon”.