Lander, WY – After reports last night that bribery had reached a new record during WCC’s annual “fun game evening”, QuisQuid, new concerns have been reported that Russian trolls “may have influenced the results of the contest”. Like with last year, out of the three teams of Poets, Philosophers, and Cowboys, the Poets won again, something that’s extremely unlikely and unexpected statistically.
“Everyone tuning and watching the results was stunned,” says a local Landerite, Anthony Anderson who’s been following the competition for several years and “never seen anything like these results before … The poets had only a 33% chance of winning against a 67% near certainty that it would be someone else. Now that’s suspicious,” he continued telling us, after calling over Twitter for an investigation.
School officials denied today in an official press release that there was any chance for foreign collusion in the renowned annual game, but as Sebastian Larson, a WCC senior who agrees with Anthony commented to us, “there’s smoking gun evidence in that JoeLo, a Russian by birth, is a member of the poets [emphasis added].”
“I mean what else could it be,” Sebastian continued, “bribes even everything out, so the only thing to tip the scales has to be some sort of infiltration and its obviously Russian trolls practicing for the 2020 election.”
What exactly this collusion consisted in, and how it was able to “overcome multiple layers of internet and site security” that the school claimed “defends our popular event from any maleficence” has not yet been fully determined, but several prefects, “citing St. Leo’s intelligence sources” are already calling for full investigation in agreement with Anthony to prevent this “travesty” as they anonymously called it, from occurring again.”
JoeLo was not at the event last night himself, something that deniers say proves his innocence, but believers say “prove Russian agents were being organized by him even as the event was occuring” and likely affected “professor’s [the events judges] votes”.