California – One of the strangest environmental movements that we’ve ever heard of launched today in Berkeley, California. “Mars Mars” as the group calls itself, “aims to put an end to Martian light pollution where Mars mars our view of deep space so we can have a more natural-looking sky. since
While this may seem somewhat contradictory to typical conservationist goals, which usually include to some extent leaving things of nature as they are in nature, however, this is simply resolved by the group’s belief that Mars isn’t natural. As one member of the organization says: “That whole thingie’s nuttin but an artificial space ship made by trashing earthlings millenia ago.
And thus we need to get rid of it, said Mars Mars’s founder, Leonardo Frazier in his group’s first meeting today. “There are many ways to do it, but let’s just do it. Get rid of that eyesore in the sky” Personally, some people who agree with Mars’ Mars agenda suggest ‘the nuclear option” bombing Mars to pieces over a period of years.
However, “that would be littering,” Leonardo continued. “I guess you could say it’s already a piece of litter up there, but our goal is to clean it up, not to destroy it. On the contrary, we need to plan ahead and prepare.”
Similar problems come up with others who’ve suggested “burning Mars to the found.” That would be by definition a forest fire and we’re not supposed to start those for any reason: MINIMIZE CAMPFIRE IMPACTs, remember?” Frazier answered.
“So let’s go harass the Alpha Centauri people and have them take it off their hands” another of the fifty or so club members assembled suggested.
Leonardo thought for a moment before responding. “Good idea Tom. But that would be noise pollution, and besides it wouldn’t be respecting our neighbors privacy. We’ve got to find another way to get rid of Mars.
The group tossed out moving Mars somewhere else out of the way of the night skyas that would be violating “Leave what you find”.
However Frazier did ultimately come up with a workable and acceptable solution as shown below. His preferred method is simple, painless, and effective and every WCC sophomore and above knows how to build one. They just need a few trillion dollars (donate here) to give it a certain type of metric existence.
“Don’t let Mars get away with light pollution. Join the fight today!” Leonardo continued and continues to implore, though somewhat quieting down during the day.
However, just as construction began today on Leonardo Frazier’s solution, Mars was tested and diagnosed with a case of the coronavirus. “Unfortunately blowing up planets is not an essential duty,” so it appears we’ll have to wait it out a bit loner, Leonardo offered.
You can learn more about Frazier’s movement and further information on the reasons, methods, and solutions he offers at marsmars.com