Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College philosophy and theology professor Dr. Michael Bolin may be Eugenio Maria Giuseppe Giovanni Pacelli or Pope Pius XII, the pontiff who ruled during World War II, according to a leaked school internal document that conflated the two as authors of one work in the school’s curriculum, “a freudian slip that uncovers something far deeper and more far reaching” according to Hiram Beraris, an analyst here at IIT and knowledgeable historical researcher.
“Its part of the grand conspiracy, we’re still in the process of uncovering,” IIT research analyst Samantha LePen says:
“Pius XII didn’t die in 1958. His disappearances that were more and more frequent as he reached an apparent death that year, the “cellular rejuvenation” treatment that was later admitted to have been used on him, supposedly without success, they say. What was really going on was that he was being treated with materials, medicines, things… sourced from Sinks Canyon in Lander, WY. Not just anti-aging, they literally rolled back the clock and the experienced philosopher and theologian, deciding to fake death, moving to the source of the material, the true fountain of youth, took on a new name and has lived here ever since as Dr. Michael Bolin. Family background history unknown, appearances a 99+% match to the supposedly late pontiff, all the differences explainable by the side effects of some sort of treatment from the fountain of youth, it all makes since. Pius is Bolin, Bolin is Pius.”
While not all of Samantha’s individual claims and bits of evidence have yet been independently verified, the basic thrust of her argument agrees with some revelations we’ve been edging towards for a while now.
Samantha took it as obvious fact, and we’re looking into it, but there’s evidence that something weird, something related to life, life extension, and youth, is going on down in Sinks Canyon just south of Lander, WY. Hey, something big is going in Lander, itself, even if you somehow haven’t noticed. Put two and two together, add the “smartness factor of Dr. Bolin as a professor at WCC” and it makes much more since to see him as simply an older Pope Pius XII living a “second life” after decades to perfect his knowledge of philosophy and theology.
For the school to know this connection as their document implies, however, means more, as Samantha argued further, and we paraphrase to say that the entire school is tied up in whatever sort of operation is going on down there. “Pius, Bolin, whoever, is probably still getting treatments from Sinks keeping him young. Look at old school promo videos,” she continued. “Bolin, he hasn’t aged a day, in fact he even looks younger now than he did in some of them.”
We’re looking into it, but if one person long thought dead “has come back” they’re could be more, many more. And if there is a “fountain of youth” some sort of substance that ends or reverses aging, a whole lot more could be upturned before we realize any of it in society, for good, and likely, for ill.
This all may sound crazy but according to Samantha, who’s instinct as a researcher we trust, “there’s a whole lot more evidence available she’s collating” to showcase both Bolin=Piux XII and the more general Lander/Sinks Canyon/Fountain of Youth conspiracy she and us have long been looking into.
The Vatican, Wyoming Catholic College, and Dr. Bolin have NOT yet responded to an IIT request for comment.
Special thanks to Dr. Peter Kwasniewski for pointing out the bit of evidence that launched this realization for us