Lander, WY – North Korean dictator Kim Jon Un may be in Lander, Wyoming right now according to a breaking notification from one of our agent/reporters who was just out on the streets of Lander. Running nearly head on into a dark sedan with tinted windows and a Utah license plate pulling our of 4th Street onto Main at around 10pm local time, our agent caught a brief glimpse of two people within, of one of whom our agent reported: “If it’s not Kim, it’s his body-double, and that would be just as interesting.”
Our agent, who for his protection we will not name, was once in the CIA and has “deep knowledge of Kim from decades of foreign intelligence work”, evidence which would serve to bolster his claim above that of a mere coincidental “look-alike” situation. “He looked closely, very closely, at me and smiled,” he said. “Somehow, he no longer fears arrest or violence. I wonder why He stared at me, longer and longer. And then… he was gone.”
Kim, who disappeared from the public view for several weeks earlier this year has not made any publically disclosed foreign trips since 2018, when he visited China. Intelligence agencies reportedly know different, however, as one agent confirmed for us, with Kim having repeatedly traveled intercontinentally under false identification according to one report over the last two years. If confirmed, however, this would be Kim’s first visit to America since he assumed supreme power in North Korea in 2011.
Local and national security and police forces have been notified of the/a possible threat from the dictator’s possible presence here in Lander but made no response to a request for comment.
IIT researchers are not surprised, however, as the rumored, and increasingly proven to be such weird and suspicious goings on around Sinks Canyon point to something afoot in tiny Lander. Kim is probably “looking for the fountain of youth,” one sophomore told us when he heard this report, but most of the school appears relatively unalarmed, and surprisingly, uninterested, with security agents we have talked to conceding likelihood to our agents report but not giving any information as to why they themselves think Kim Jong Un would be in town.
Several local citizens who have yet heard of this report have launched an all-night watch in hopes of finding the suspected Kim, whom our agent reports, was when last-seen, headed down Fifth St. towards Sinks Canyon.