Vatican City – In response to rising risks of sin around the world, Pope Francis says he is calling a new synod for June 2022 to devise “some sort of additional help we can give to souls after baptism since it seems Baptism doesn’t confer complete immunity to sin.”
According to the Vatican moderator of the curia Cardinal Gunter Schuster, Francis is considering requiring what will be called yearly “Baptism Boosters” of all Catholics to help increase natural immune defenses to sin. “Yes, Baptism gives you grace, but sin is so deadly that we need to do more to ensure everyone’s safety,” Schuster commented, adding that while the coming synod may decide to “do other things, like changing the definition of sin to make it easier for people to avoid ‘sinning’, booster shots of grace are the most likely solution as long as they’re administered on a path on which one advances through dialogue, reconciliation and synodality. Yes, synodality above all.”
Dr. Fauci, a physician and immunologist who has served as the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases commented that he agrees with Francis and Schuster and is excited for a chance to participate in the coming synod. “I am the SCIENCE, therefore I know a lot about boosters and recommending them to people. Personally, I think we need to get Pfizer on board with helping develop treatments again sin, and we may even need monthly boosters.”
According to some Church experts consulted by IIT, “b0osters” against sin, already exist, called the rest of the sacraments, already exist, but Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson and Johnson are recommending a vaccine based solution as it would “follow the profits… err science on sin far better” according to Pfizer spokesman Dr. Jab Jabberwocky.
God is still recommending distancing from near occasions of sin into 2022 (and as He always has). St. Michael, spokesangel for God also commented that God may consider keeping up a “scapular mandate until, maybe the end of time.”