As Bishop Escalates the Stakes, Byzantine Militias in Wyoming Prepare for the Worst

Cheyenne, WY – The Chancery of the Diocese of Cheyenne, Wyoming has refused the transfer requests of several prominent and long-time Wyoming Byzantine chapel attendees to switch from their birth registration in the Roman Rite to the jurisdiction of the Ukrainian Byzantine Eparchy of Chicago.

This stunning refusal to a routine process that allows individual members of the Catholic Church to move to the rite that best fits their individual calling is according to Jack B’Antonio, the head of the Ortho-Bros, a Byzantine self-defense militia headquartered somewhere in the Wind River Mountains, is “a slap in the face to proper Catholic liturgical diversity, equity, and inclusion. Why can’t we not just identify with the rite we want, but actually be recognized as such?”

Another paramilitary organization, the Byzantine Broskis of Joliet, IL, also issued a statement, “Just remember, we are the Church MILITANT. And if the worst come to the worst. So be it.”

Exactly what they plan to do is unclear, but IIT investigative journalists have obtained images of several militias in various places in Wyoming already beginning drills as of this afternoon, including such exercises as competitive weighted bowing, pulling sleds loaded with hundreds of pounds of charcoal and incense, and duelling with swords.

Cheyenne police have already reported that a crowd already numbering several hundred is protesting outside of the chancery of the Diocese of Cheyenne with signs bearing slogans from “Free Our Faithful” to “Byzantines4Ever” but they are currently peaceful even as a Wyoming National Guard drone recently obtained this image of a militant leader of one Byzantine organization somewhere in Colorado.