Orations last year (Photo by Ben Licciardi)

Orations at Wyoming Catholic College are coming again next week. And, while the school has backed down from its original plan which would have seen each member of the Class of 2023 have to talk for a full 24-hrs, there are still a full four days to feast on Senior Orations delivered by the 29 members of the Class of 2023.

Here’s your guide to what to expect from this year’s orations:

  • 29 orations over 4 days: Starting with the obvious, we expect all 29 seniors of the Class of 2023 to deliver one oration each, on average. The number of orations per student, however, we believe, is normally distributed with a standard deviation of 0.5, meaning that we expect 67% of the seniors to deliver between 0.5 and 1.5 orations, while 5% will deliver between 0 and 2 orations each, meaning that we expect one or two seniors to deliver no oration at all or two orations.
  • Two locations: We expect two locations to be used again this year, Augur Classroom 111/113 will be one location as well as Augur 114 will be the two expected locations. One oration may or may not be delivered at the Lander Bar. We’re still checking on senior Blade Galnaith’s plans in that regard.
  • An average of 10 minutes spent in an opening prayer per each senior’s oration: Oldest trick in the book
  • Two clickbait titles that draw crowds: But then they don’t actually answer the provocative question they asked in their title.
  • Five seniors decide what they want to talk about the night before: Up from only one last year.
  • Dozens of visitors from out of town will overwhelm the WCC campus: Who they are is classified until they are here, at which point it won’t be classified, because you and everyone else in town will obviously be seeing them.
  • Two seniors show up for their oration dressed like they’re going climbing: Were they ever in dress code any other time, anyway?
  • Almost no one shows up for the final oration slot: Hey, sitting, listening, and eating cinnamon rolls is hard.
  • Sophomores are the only other class that really shows up to watch: Dr. Shrubbery’s TRV202 threats work!
  • One senior uses Size 3 font on their quote sheet
  • One senior averages 350 words/minute: Still doesn’t beat Jack’s Eminem beating 400 words/minute record set during his oration last year.

We’re excited to see what the seniors come up with (hopefully will come up).