It happened last September. But a similar situation happens every year at Wyoming Catholic College, as sophomores at Wyoming Catholic College crack open St. Augustine’s book The Confessions, and then get hopelessly–and simultaneously–inspired, and scandalized.

Here is a typical transcript of the high-minded intellectual discussion that ensues when the work is first cracked open at WCC:

“Augustine hates children?”

“Augustine thinks that they’re nothing but sinful brats whose crying shows their lack of control of their appetitive instincts?”

“Getting married is like dropping out of the religious life in his view.”

“Oh, he’s a libertarian?”

“No, he’s a libertarian and a hippie AND uber-duper conservative all at once…”

“Why are we reading this?”

“I think you have a good point there, I agree with you.”

(professor tries to intervene)

(professor gets shouted down)

“Ma boi Augustin’ “

(oh, it was another professor doing the shouting, one who absolutely loves Augustine)

“Moving on.”

“But, why is Augustine against families?”

“No he’s not.”

“I think a better way of saying it would be Augustine wants everyone to be a religious, and then the whole human race will just slowly go extinct, but for the glory of God.”

“That’s a weird way of putting it, but I’m pretty sure you’re actually referring to what Aquinas said.”

“I’m NOT, you’re the one who never does the reading!”

“I did today and that’s why I know that Augustine is nothing more than a 60’s hippe. ‘What is time? What is memory?’ Who talks like that?

(professor again tries to intervene)

(scuffle ensues)

(two students with red faces are forced to sit back down as a prefect intervenes… cue superhero music)

Yep, happens every year with St. Augustine.