Dusseldorf, Germany – Citing great evidence of his personal virtue, calm demeanor, and commitment to peace, Cardinal Gunter Schuster of Dusseldorf Germany called on Pope Francis to immediately open the cause for canonization of recently killed Iranian general Qasem Soleimani. “He was a great man, a selfless hero, an example to our age,” Schuster said in his letter to Pope Francis leaked to IIT by a Vatican source. “A man with peace as his only aim, the crowds which mourned his death testify to how they saw him as a martyr for justice. Most importantly since he never forced Catholic beleifs on anyone, he’s the saint of this age and worthy of supreme recognition by the faithful.”
As he was head of Iran’s extraterritorial military and clandestine operations arm, the Quds force, and a designated terrorist internationally, sainthood for Soleimani might seem “a little unwarranted” Schuster admitted. “But when you look past his day job, those little ‘rough around the edges’ incidents now and again, you find a family man, a weight-lifter, a man who enjoyed reciting beautiful poetry and listening to rock music.”
CNN seems to agree with this reading, their chief international affairs commentator Bryan Durn commenting on The Cryin Bryan Durn show today: “We all mourn the loss of our friend Qasem Soleimani. He was a wonderful guy, devoted to “buen vir” (good-living), and a beloved friend of everybody.”
Schuster also called in his letter for the canonization of Hugo Chavez as a Latin American example to the faithful of the same “buen vir”.
The Vatican has not yet commented on the report of Schuster’s letter or any plans to canonize either of the two figures.