It seems for some reason or another that giving out a list of things that your company is going to change, do, announce, prohibit or require of itself, its employees, or its customers is the popular thing to do right now. Quite the bandwagon it seems. So we thought it was a pretty opportune time for us to jump on it ourselves and give our Coronavirus “response”, “announcement”, or whatever one calls those sorts of things.
1. Irkutsk Ice Trucking Services will not Transport Masks
It seems like every company is bragging about how much they’re “helping” by shipping equipment around. But all that bragging adds up to a lot of wasted money as with all the competition there’s just no money to be made; Since IIT is a for-profit business we just can’t afford to waste money shipping equipment somewhere then right back where it came from just for the sake of saying we did it. Yes, we’d be happy if you thanked us later for our efficiency, effectiveness, and virtue in not being in it for the glory and the praise. We like to be thanked for such things.
2. IIT and Its Subsidiaries Will Not Use Disinfectants and Hand Sanitizers
Everyone else is using them and the disease is supposedly still spreading. That to us is a clear sign that they don’t work. Since we do like to keep things clean around here though, we will clean things the outdoors way, with lake water. Just like in the backcountry, once it dries its clean. It’s that simple!
3. IIT Will Employ the Buddy System At All Times
Since everyone else seems to be thinking that keeping distance between people is the right thing to do that’s led to a lot of people not having been near anyone else for a long time. Given man’s intrinsic social nature as described by Aristotle, this isn’t a natural situation for man. And that means that because it won’t work, a lot of people are going to want to be near other human beings. Here enters us. At IIT, everything will be up close and personal. Handshakes, face-to-face meetings, real life interactions all the way. It’s going to be a hit. We know it. And we know you want some of it to. So try IIT for your next job. We’ll be happy to meet you. We want other people near us at all times too. So to ensure that we’re simply going to take the step of requiring every IIT employee to be within six feet of another at all times, a simple and obvious usage of the buddy system. Customers too will be recommended that they stand near or join our employees while we work on their job.
4. Any Medical Decisions We Have To Make Will Be Made by Trained WFRs.
Wilderness First Responders (WFRs) are the best in the business, the best providers of medical care out there from dental care to amputations, and heart surgery to diagnosis. So if we ever come into a situation where we have to make a medical decision (as with some of these decisions in this article), rest assured that it was made by pros who know absolutely well what they are doing.
5. Increased Services
Other businesses seem to have shrunk somewhat over the last few months. We’re not exactly sure why but it probably has something to do with their “Coronavirus Responses” being somewhat flawed. Since our policies are obviously far better we’re going to do better as a business, which is why rather than slowing down, IIT is doubling its hiring, expanding internationally (including every IIT executive deparing on international business trips as much as every other week for the rest of the year) and increasing service hours and capacity.
And that’s it so far. Unlike other companies we’re sticking to these decisions and not changing them every five minutes when some bureaucrat decides they want to ban something or other, or require some other something or other. And if you like these rules we can help craft some that will work well for your own business. Contact IIT Consulting at firstname.lastname@example.org