UNLIKE MOST OF OUR OTHER ARTICLES: THIS IS IN FACT A TRUE STORY
Lander, WY – Famed rapper and 2020 presidential candidate Kanye West was spotted at Wyoming Catholic College at 5 pm Wednesday walking his dog in a verscace robe and slippers with his family: Kim and North. Sighted by sophomores Abby and Peter at the St. Leo’s firepit, Peter reported, “he appeared to have just come from the Shell gas station. It looked as though he was taking a breath of fresh air and stretching his legs about the Leo’s firepit.”
“I didn’t know it was him at the time,” Peter reports, “but a police officer I talked to later apparently sighted him as well and gave a description which matched up with what I had seen. He was not quite sure it was Kanye, so in order to make sure, the officer traced the plates on Kanye’s vehicle and sure enough, they were his. This confirmed that it was indeed Kanye who I saw at five o’clock that evening.”
Had Peter known, however, he “obviously would have invited him to come sing for our sister dorm later that evening,” but unfortunately he left after about twenty minutes in a flashy, expensive sedan.
Kanye West moved to a ranch near Cody, Wyoming in September 2019, so his presence in Wyoming isn’t really that unusual, but his not only being in Lander, but actually on WCC school property “is a little bit bigger of a deal” according to IIT analysts we managed to interview on short notice.
Some students speculate he’s planning on moving to Lander or recording a new album with help from WCC’s Professor Hodkinson and the WCC choir, but IIT Intelligence analysts believe a connection to the Fountain of Youth conspiracy or some of the other mysterious happenings in Lander are more likely, Kanye likely coming to Lander to get a “fill up” from the Fountain of Youth.
WCC Security agents were not present at the scene at the time, but are investigating whether Kanye, as a self-declared presidential candidate, will by his visit tie WCC even more closely into the politics of the coming presidential election.
The reaction of most students at WCC to the news is just a wish that they weren’t so extremely busy all afternoon so they would have actually had a chance to be there for his visit.’