Uh oh, a technical glitch somehow causes all students at Wyoming Catholic College to fail this semester. “I don’t know how it happened,” said Mary Detsegah, head of the  Student Life Office at WCC, “but it appears are now grade recording system gave everyone Fs this year.”

“We can’t do anything about it,” said the school’s dean Professor Cleanut. “Finals are Finals, guess you’re gonna have to a re-do on everything.”

Most WCC students had been confused for the past two weeks as to why they hadn’t received any grades, but the reason is now obvious. “We just didn’t want to ruin your Christmas, but now that the culture has already moved on, so can we, and we’re letting the truth out now,” Cleanut added.

“One or two” students may have been unaffected by the mistake, which also somehow led to the copies of most students’ finals being deleted from school records, according to IIT intelligence sources. They will likely be allowed to continue, but everyone else is being forced to join the already absolutely massive freshman class, by starting the curriculum over next semester as a freshman.

“Sorry seniors, you were so close,” Detsegah adds. “But at least you’re going to get to know everything extra well by the time you actually finish.

Reportedly 2020 graduate Parker Eidle will also be required to start over as a freshman this coming semester. Even though he “graduated”, unfortunately, his school records were also accidentally deleted with everyone elses.

Tough luck.