Austin, TX – Billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk, the owner of such companies as Tesla and SpaceX, has moved on from a seemingly failed plan to acquire Twitter, to, as he said in a press release today “a far, far better plan to buy out Heaven.”

While God has not yet responded to Elon’s all-cash $5 trillion dollar offer, Musk believes his deal is, a “no brainer” for the Deity. “Heaven has never been monetized to the best of its potential. What is it offering? Eternity. Surely that’s worth more than the current going rate. And what’s in it? Angels and saints performing all the work. Surely it can be industrialized.”

While not all details have been finalized of what Elon would do with heaven should his deal with God succeed, the billionaire added that the possibilities are endless: “Skyscrapers, theme parks, an airline, a space program linking heaven and Earth, golden mountains to drill tunnels through, hey, even better internet and GPS systems. And the space up there is incredible. It surely could be populated far more than it currently is.”

Bill Gates, meanwhile, has proposed a $1 trillion deal of his own today to acquire hell.