Lander, WY – Campus buildings were glitter free for the first time in months according to a report from members of the school’s maintenance teams. “Unlike the somewhat unfortunately popular opinion, glitter does not actually bring happiness,” reports IIT editor and freshman Andrew Solis. “Far to the contrary, glitter being in the room is one of the ten signs that you’re going to have a bad day.”

Glitter is not only hard to clean up, sticky, and usually obnoxiously colored, but is also considered an “environmental and human health hazard” by both the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as well as the Freshman Pequod Fish and Wildlife Service.

Further, not only does the state of California deem that glitter “causes cancer” but the nation of Lazikistan and certain upperclassmen have come out with scientific arguments in support of their conclusion, “something that proves this is far more than a merely politicized issue but is rather something impacting and threatening the health of all students and all Americans” as WCC Senior and future (2036) presidential candidate Arnold Senoj said in a campaign speech today, warning about the dangers of unrestrained glitter use.

Now that glitter, as of today, has not been detected in campus buildings for more than a week, students can “breathe a sigh of relief freely that they won’t have to be concerned for their safety every time they step into a hallway” as student life office assistant director Mary Detsegah announced today. “We achieved this major victory totally voluntarily on the part of students,” she added. “Simple ad campaigns convinved the few glitter use addicts on campus to give up their ways for the good of the community as a whole. We considered giving janitorial teams temporary prefect powers for the sake of removing offenders, but luckily we haven’t had to take that step yet.”

Giving cleaning crews the power to remove habitually and viciously dirty students from school buildings is however still on the table according to the school’s academic council via multiple reports received by IIT sources.

Students still face the risk of freshmen anarchy and seniors shooting Nerf guns in the hallways, however, although PDA in the hallways is still “near historic lows”, another “major win for law and order at the school” according to dean Professor Cleanit.