Lander, WY – The world’s first virtual cookie ship was launched this week at Wyoming Catholic College by Texas freshman Garrett Layfield. With instant delivery, tons of tasty flavors, “Pray, hope, and eat cookies” as its motto, and even smiley faces on the cookies themselves, Garret’s business was such an instant hit, that industry leaders of the “Big Cookie” monopoly group are wondering why they had never thought of his idea before now.
“Really we must all be dumb,” said Lester Barjoino, owner of Standard Cookie. “Smiley cookies, instant delivery, and the amazing branding he thought up?”
Garrett has already sold thousands of cookies out of his dorm room with reportedly almost no set-up costs, no packaging or equipment, and, most weirdly of all, nothing at all for baking cookies. “He must have some secret kitchen somewhere that he isn’t telling anyone about. Probably on the roof of some off-the-books Switzerland bank or something,” Lester comments. “But I still have no idea how he actually sells his cookies so cheaply and gets them delivered so fast.” (Customers typically receive their order within 20 seconds)
Garrett’s cookies sell for 10 cents each or 24 for $3, shipping and handling included. 500 flavors are available and bulk orders are also offered. All orders are currently taken through IIT’s business email service at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Reportedly the reason Garrett’s business works so well is because all his cookies are virtual and Garrett’s Cookies simply email its customers the accidental appearances of cookies with regard to color, extension, and shape. “They’re the world’s first truly virtual cookie shop alright!” comments IIT analyst Marcus Gardner.