Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College students looking to grow in poverty, charity, and all those good things now have it easier, as the college announced today that they will now automatically withhold tithes within the complex process of work-study accounting. “No need to have any money in order to donate to the support of the Church,” announced Student Life Office director John Breadriksson. “We’ll simply withhold money from your work study earnings, donate it to the chaplaincy department, and then modify your financial plan with the college accordingly. It’s easy for you, since all you’ll have to do is work more. It’s easy for us, because all we have to do is move numbers around on a spreadsheet. And its easy, for the chaplaincy department because they’ll automatically have money from you and we can then use the money we would have used to fund the Church from general tuition and outside donations for other projects. The extra hours worked by everybody will help us finally get everything done for once for the college. The fact that everyone on the program is working extra hours will reduce time students spend on distracting things like gaming, movies, and dating, and the fact that they’re doing less of those things will help us save on our electrical bill . It’s win-win-win, win-win win!”
The 10% deductions begin with the January 2024 timesheet period, meaning that in order to maintain their expected balance of hours works, WCC students on the work study program should work around 10% more hours this and all future months. The WCC Student Life Office is also now looking into adding an automatically deducted “Rental Excise Tax”, err “Rental Excise Tithe” on all student’s housing payments that will also require additional work-study hours to be worked, or additional payments of “outside” money to be made, further “strengthening the currency balance of our school economy,” Breadriksson added.
Students not on work-study will see their prayers and Crux Coffee purchases taxed instead.