Ahh, studying. It’s hard, it’s tiresome, it takes you away from finer things and more exciting things. And it’s what some people claim going to college is all about. But they’re wrong. And after years of student pressure, Wyoming Catholic College (WCC) agrees with a stunning curriculum update announced this week. WCC, at which all students take the exact same set of academic courses along with an Outdoor Leadership Program that includes weeks of backcountry, student led adventures, announced that after years of students complaining about difficulty of their academic work, they will “update the curriculum by removing all academics from the curriculum.”
“Finally students at WCC will have time for the things that really matter,” commented the school’s vice president Dr. Saul H. Ciwoknot. “Video games, sleeping, smoking, and then amazing yet ethereal ‘building community.’ We’re taking away the stuff that doesn’t matter, that you will never use again, and less fun, giving more time to just sit around, relax, and then sit around and relax some more.”
With these changes, phased in over the course of the next three years, WCC will become the world’s first “studying and class free” college. The institution is expected to save “all kinds of money” with the changes, being able to do away with book purchases, professors, classrooms, and more,” according to Ciwoknot, meaning it will have more money to spend on board games, video games and Netflix subscriptions for every *student* (student is a word which technically will not apply in the future) as well as on other upgrades like Nerf guns for every room, better Wi-Fi networks over time, and more.
Students who for some reason “have issues” and like studying are suggested to “get with the times” according to junior Nerred Neyer. “We’re going to be about community, relationships, and gaming. The good, true, and the beautiful are outdated. What you really need to be pursuing are the new transcendental: couches, (c)kisses and cuisine, and WCC will be well on its way to being the best place in the world to pursue those once these changes are in.”