Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College has announced a major crack-down on the activity known as “prefect subcontracting” that has reportedly been rampant and wild across the school over the past few years. “We only just became aware of it,” says school Student Life Office official Mary Rensilret, “but for years prefects have been assigning their duties to others, paying them out of pocket, and keeping the profits. Since prefects make nearly twice as much as other work-study positions, it was an easy calculus for many to give up their responsibilities. But that’s going to end this year. And its going to end NOW!”
The school will add “head prefects”, students who will be to the prefects as prefects are to regular students at the school. “It’s quite simple really,” she added. “Head Prefects will simply be set up to students in the duplicate ratio as regular prefects are to students. They’ll supervise them, oversee them, and otherwise prefect them, but they’ll keep this egregious practice down as easily as Francis Langley could remove a freshman’s hat.”
Prefects officially deny any such activity ever having taken place on campus, besides of course the Senior Retreat, when senior prefects must of course give their responsibilities over to someone else. But school officials say “the proof really is in the pudding” as prefects were supposedly seen making pudding in their rooms late at night, every night. “How could they have led dorm singing, led night prayer, enforced rules on students or all the other beings that being a prefect deals out indoors if they were making pudding all the time?” asks Mary. “Instead freshmen like Patrick Young and Matthew Kubisch had to pick up the slack, and, we think, while being paid to do so by the prefects whose duty it actually was.”
She cites lots of pizza apparent purchase and consumption in Patrick’s case and Amanda Johnson baked protein bars in Matt;s case that they were receiving pay for taking on prefect duties in a subcontracting role.
No penalties are under consideration at this time for suspected past offenders, but if the addition of head prefects, a position that has worked well at Thomas Aquinas College for several years to halt similar behaviors and activities, does not work as intended, “we may have to talk fines” she said.
Further details and announcements about the exact responsibilities of and the selection of the head prefects is also forthcoming by the end of July according to Rensilret.