RFK Jr., newly allied with Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, albeit with his own MAHA (Make America Healthy Again) twist rather than the traditional age-old MAGA focus, gave some clarification in a press conference today on one of the ways in which he intends to support American health, by improving the oil used in Catholic Lenten fish frys.
“Now as to fish frys,” he said at a campaign rally along with scientist Bret Weinstein. “They used to fry the fish in whale oil. Then the big companies pressured the Knights of Columbus to switch to seed oils. That’s when they all went down the drain. But since a vote for Trump is a vote for me, we’ll work together to make America healthy again when elected by making the Knights of Columbus fry everything in whale oil again. We’ll even switch all the fish frys from catfish to whale meat. Better for the environment to eat up all those dead whales sitting around everywhere, killed by the psychological torture of offshore wind farms.”
“My uncle, Jack Kennedy was a believer in the great mission of the Knights of Columbus and like me, liked to go to fish frys put on by the Knights every lent. That is until the CIA killed him. But we’ll fix them so you can go to them more often and be healthier while doing so.”
Most Catholics have appreciated the suggestion from Kennedy, although some Catholics have suggested that perhaps “beef tallow” might also be preferable to be used at fish frys, launching a heated debate between Dr. Taylor Marshall and Mostly Calm ENGAGED Margo about whether it would be alright to consume fries fried in tallow during lent.
Byzantines, meanwhile, have announced a plan to continue to just “not eat” during Great Lent as while as throughout the year and just become physically and spiritually healthy through this “simpler” plan that also requires “far less government interference with the Church.”