Liturgy is a complicated and divisive topic with eternal consequences. For the sake of your salvation its important that not only do you go the right liturgies, but also only become friends with those of the right liturgical lifestyle. It’s especially hard at a small school like Wyoming Catholic College where you won’t be able to avoid heathens of a different lifestyle but will have to learn how to get along with them somehow on the way to building a stronger more pluralistic #community as a whole here at WCC. Or something like that.

Here at IIT, we’re here to help, with this, the IIT Guide to Understanding the Liturgical Culture at Wyoming Catholic College.

In order to understand the liturgical culture at Wyoming Catholic College it is first necessary to realize that it is composed of liturgical cultures. There is no one culture, no one lifestyle. In fact there are not even just three choices. You must realize that there all sorts of options. It’s not just as simple as OF, EF, and Byzantine. These are but the INGREDIENTS of a LITURGICAL LIFESTYLE. Your LITURGICAL LIFESTYLE will be a particular COMBINATION of these.

So, with that, here are the lifestyle options:

The Morning Masser: This is the lifestyle mixing EF, OF, and Byzantine liturgies where you just go to whatever rite has Mass in the morning. WCC freshman Fonte Matthews is the best example of this. Benefits of this lifestyle include: Mass being in the morning, where it should be, Mass for you always being in the morning, and you also experiencing a nice diverse mix of different liturgical traditions.

The OG Rad Trad: This doesn’t just mean you go to only EF liturgies at WCC. You ONLY GO TO EF LITURGIES and you let that be known to everyone. At WCC this also means that if the Bishop doesn’t let us have an EF mass one weekend you’ll be driving to Denver for it. Or all the way to Texas if you have to for the weekend. Anything for the EF. Anything not in Latin for you is from the devil. You’re the student who only participates in class in Latin, doesn’t know the responses for an English Mass, and is the first to read Dr. Kwasniewski latest article.

The Creaster WCC Style: You’ve heard of CREASTERs, right? Christmas and Easter Catholics. Well, this is the WCC edition. Your lifestyle goal is to avoid the Holy Rosary Parish masses at whatever cost. Well you can, except for Christmas and Easter, where we’re with the Parish. Tough luck. Guess you’ve got to go there then.

The Bacchalator: Someone who only goes to the Commencement and Baccholoreate Masses. Oh, wait, are they even Catholic?

tHE rUTH kRESS: Explains itself. Well, up till last week it did. Congrats, Ruth!

The Tourist: This lifestyle is one of adventure and novelty. It’s simple. Just try something new every week. Be a free spirit. Try out the Byzantine Rite one week, go to a Landerite’s charismatic prayer service the next day, and then show up at the parish another. Just try new things all the time. If you get bored with Lander’s options, there are Melchites in Denver, an SSPX parish in Kansas, and, oh wait… Do you actually care about the Liturgy, or are you only in it to be entertained?

Byzantine LARPer (Trans-Ritualist): This one is growing steadily more popular by the year. The point isn’t to be Byzantine but to be de jure Roman while playing the role of being a Byzantine. You might also call this being a trans-ritualist; adherents to this lifestyle prefer to call it “waiting on the Bishop” but, whatever it is, the point is to never actually go through a real formal transition, giving you the liberty of switching back at leisure in the future.

Roman LARPer: This one is far rarer than the Byzantine LARPer. Here the point is to actually be Byzantine de jure while playing and presenting “Roman” in reality. At present only one junior, Gathetta Clar, adheres to this lifestyle, although Dr. Daizd has at times been said to also be part of this very small sub-culture. IIT believes that this one is often discriminated against, especially by Humanities professors other than Dr. Schubert.

Kateri’s 301: This lifestyle simply refers to the particular mix of liturgical traditions chosen together by the members of St. Kateri’s room 301. “Chosen together” is the operative term with respect to this lifestyle. All the members of this room descend upon a particular liturgical service together. You can’t predict in advance which one they will go to, but if you see one, the rest are coming. They do this joint scheduling almost as if they were dating, except they’re not… Currently, Kateri’s 301 is about 61% EF Roman, 9% OF Roman, and 30% Byzantine, but this average varies by the week.

The Snoozers, Boozers, and Lozers: The name says it all.

No matter which of these great lifestyles you pick for yourself remember to NEVER, EVER, discriminate against anyone on account of their liturgical lifestyle. It is THEIR CHOICE and you must respect it.