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The car driven by the suspects and seen widely around Lander over the past weeks
Two people a WCC sophomore claims to be connected to the recent rash of car and bicycle thefts around Lander were seen by him to be entering and driving away in a white Toyota Tacoma truck. Our unidentified informant wishes to remain anonymous, but many in the community are hopeful that his revelation of the driving habits of these suspects will lead to a quick resolution of the thefts that have plagued Lander for months.
Road captain Marcus Gardner

“All we have to do,” says Joseph K. Brennan of NOLS, “is find a Toyota Tacoma truck and arrest it. If we ban the car that the thieves drive in, then there will be no more thefts.” WCC students take a more nuanced view, not jumping to the philosophical conclusion that the car is “the cause” of the thefts, but are also hopeful of soon getting their bikes back. Particularly excited are members of the Hotel biker gang, who in the words of their road captain Marcus Gardner are “gonna pound these thieves till we get everything back and more.

“The Bones of Rath have been working with us on it”, he continues, but its “up to us to get justice served. Other gangs operating in our territory. That’s not just against our self interest, its unjust!”
Bernie Branson of the Lander police department

Bernie Branson of the Lander Police Department advises caution against “posse raids of citizens” against Toyota Tacoma truck owners, but did not deny the obvious connection many are making to the Muslim missionaries who have as of late been hanging out around the WCC Campus. “I can’t confirm 100% that they are guilty,” he said, “but with reports that they were acting ‘Flirt to Convert at the WCC street fair” and got into an “altercation” with possible gang members that same day, “they are definitely top suspects of the community as a whole”.
In a further statement, head of WCC security, Andrew Matthews says the school security force is “considering all options to work for the self interest of each and every student here” with “all options on the table”. IIT further has received intelligence that the “Campus Assassins” have been rapidly building up their forces for a strike on the targets at their next acquisition with their agents being rapidly trained with “full apologetic arsenals” for their next confrontation with these men, whether or not their guilt in this case is actually proven.
“Expect action tomorrow” says IIT analyst Everett Polinski when WCC security forces can finally collaborate fully with the Campus Assassins and the Lander police.
Know anything that could solve this case? Right with your tips to security@irkutskicetruckers.com or comment below.