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August 30, 2019-Lander, Wyoming.

Late this evening, the men’s prefects at Wyoming Catholic College decided to twist the blade in the back of a struggling campus culture by organizing a massive ‘fight night.’ Things came to a head as the gentlemen of St. Leo’s made their way to sing to their sister dorm, only to be completely shut down by the apparent throwing of the ‘Baculus Verberans,’ a legendary weapon from the mists of time. As no such disrespect of the artifact could be allowed, relations between the present men’s dorms rapidly devolved into a massive brawl. It soon became apparent to all that events were contrived, for not long thereafter, two groups of vehicles showed up on the scene, bringing with them men from both apartment locations.

The primary complaints against the event pertained less to what the men were doing and far more to the crowd of howling, female spectators. It is maintained by some that to engage in masculine, testosterone-fueled acts is acceptable in and of itself, but to do so in the presence of the feminine, or what ought to have been the feminine, is decidedly uncouth. As evidence, these individuals cite both traditional codes of conduct for gentlemen and the ear-splitting vocalizations that were tearing forth from the throats of bystanders.

Photo direct from last night’s “fight night”

At press time, social scientists are hard at work determining whether there is any actual honor or courage in fighting in the defense of absolutely nothing of consequence. The IIT team eagerly awaits the findings of this study.