Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College is now buying genuine name brand products for just about everything, standardizing its public-facing branding on everything it uses and overall “stepping up our game to compete with the Ivy Leagues of the world” according to Student Life Office representative Mary Rensilret. A surprise move, it has split commentator’s opinions all the way from “it probably wasn’t necessary” to the move being “a long-awaited decision that will save students’ Math careers and double freshmen enrollment.”

Real Expo brand Markers, real Goldfish on outdoor trips, Oreos in Dolce Ice Cream, Kellogs cereal in Frassati and the “best foosball table money could buy are only the beginning of this new move, “which has been in the works at WCC for a long time but only really took hold this year” according to Saul H. Ciwoknot, executive vice-president of WCC.

“We want people to take WCC as seriously as they take Listerine brand mouthwash. I mean who would want to go to a store that doesn’t have Listerine brand or a hardware store that doesn’t sell Black&Decker.”

All of Flex’s tools will be checked by a new product consistency standard workflow that demands that every tool used wither have a WCC logo emblazoned on it or come from a recognized top brand. All school vehicles will be standardized and painted the same color to go along with this move, with a shiny jet-black and still unmarked finish the tentative standardizing decision.

Students will receive “How to Show Ethos Through Dress-Code COnsistency and Still Look Stylish While Being Efficient and Effective” guidebooks, while an all school lecture on the new “product strategy” as Rensilret calls it, is scheduled for late-October.