Members of the Class of 2023 held their second dance last weekend with a theme of “Disco”, particularly of the 1970s variety. Featuring lots of graffiti everywhere, raucous disco music, ice cream, and flashy psychedelic hair to be seen everywhere it was according to student reports “one of the brashest and boldest dances ever.” That’s not new for the Class of 2023, which held its last dance last February with a “Roaring 20’s” theme but this year’s dance went further, with bold attacks on Euclid, past academic decisions, and even signs promoting chants of the heretic Arius.

And they’re not even trying to deny it. “We sophomores are wild, bro,” says Rodney Rathbone, a sophomore from Indiana and one of the dance’s organizers. “We’re out there and we’re here. We ain’t off in a corner like them juniors were last year. We’re duking it out as strongly as any of the freshmen.”

Apparently the sophomores also seem to have stolen their dance idea from the current junior class, which at one point was all set and ready for a “Dominos Disco Dance” theme in Spring 2019. “I’m not saying they did take it, but I am saying it’s weirdly similar to our theme idea,” junior Bernadette Heithoff commented.

School officials are investigating the dance for these and more rebellious elements, things which an anonymous high ranking school official says “are usually much more characteristic of freshmen than of sophomores” to see if there’s “any risk of wider rebellion in the class” particularly with rumors of “Duck Brotherhood” and “Dark Brotherhood” organizations having been founded within it.

Personally, I think we ought to be very concerned. Is this year’s freshmen anarchy spreading to the Class of 2023 this year? Or did the anarchical elements within the sophomores when they were freshmen never truly leave them?

Be very concerned about the sophomores. Obviously, Karen Clark is involved in it and there’s likely to be more to come, with early reports already pointing to a 2020s theme for the Class of 2023’s next dance.