Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College has announced changes to the school’s dress code that will take effect from the beginning of next semester in order to “reduce wear and tear on school buildings” while “allowing women who want to go barefoot to do so legally” and overall “simplifying” what the school’s dean Professor Cleanit calls “an overcomplicated system that’s outdated and takes up a lot of students’ time in just trying to be compliant.”
“I’m speaking about the shoe requirements in dress code,” he said to clarify as half a dozen news outlets immediately took his words out of context, from CNN reporting: “Cult-like School Finally Relaxes Medieval Requirements” to Infowars: “Globalists Got Dress Code Changed at WCC, What’s Next? Curfew”. “I’m only speaking about shoes. Shoes are complicated, most women at WCC try to avoid wearing them anyway, and they scuff up and pretty much destroy our beautiful hardwood floors while tracking mud everywhere and making it impossible for our janitorial team to keep up.”
Effective immediately for anyone still in town, and applicable to all students, faculty and staff from the beginning of the spring semester, all shoes will simply be banned from being worn anywhere on campus at Wyoming Catholic College. “With this one change we’re cutting a dozen pages out of the Student Handbook and Dress Code that regulated shoes and replacing it with one simple campus-wide bam. Cutting red tape and onerous regulations have been my goal for all of my time here at WCC, and I’m happy we’re doing so in a way that also helps us keep our buildings in better condition,” Professor Cleanit added.
Shoe storage will be provided at the entrance to each campus building and prefects will be charged with enforcing the new ban on indoor shoe-wearing. Everyone will still be required to wear socks, however, while indoors, and WCC will be issuing small booklets to all students about “sock code guidelines” that prefects will also enforce.
Professor Cleanit also wants a broader revamp of the school’s dress code to be put under consideration. “Right now the basic principles of our dress code are culturally insensitive. We don’t allow our Irish students to wear kilts, for crying out loud, let alone togas outside of certain events. Besides, while we’ve made small changes to the dress code, the basic principles are still over a decade old. Styles have changed radically, and at WCC we need to become more one with the times.”