Lander, WY – According to the country’s state media, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un received an acceptance package from Wyoming Catholic College this week. “We’re not sure how it happened,” said the school’s director of admissions, David Nerch, confirming the North Korean report. “It’s as complete an accident as student’s finals getting sent to China last month,” he added. “Somehow an acceptance letter got printed out in his name and mailed to North Korea. Must have been a set of random mutations in our software system,” he mused.

Kim Jong Un says he’s “considering accepting the admissions offer” as he’s “always wanted to show how good he is at philosophy, backpacking, and all that kind of stuff they do out there at WCC.” According to Nerch, “Wyoming Catholic doesn’t plan to honor the mistaken letter” as Kim doesn’t actually meet the school’s requirements for admission due to lack of a completed admissions essay.”

“He does meet the rest of our requirements,” WCC’s assistant director of admissions, Isabella Shonmer said. “But I’m worried that he might not think it,” she added. “St. Athanasius would be the most logical dorm to put him in, but the prefect there says he won’t take him, and I can’t imagine any other dorm thinking differently.”

Furthermore, the school’s received certain indications that Kim Jong Un wouldn’t be willing to pay much of anything at all for coming to WCC, as he has claimed that “such education should be free.”

“Thus we’d have to put him on Work Study as he doesn’t merit any other scholarships and on the question of loans threatened to ‘bomb the bank’. And that brings the question, where would we put him that he’d be willing to work? The kitchen? I just can’t see him working out.”

Kim Jong Un has threatened to “apply to Thomas Aquinas College (TAC) to take him in if WCC won’t accept him,” although TAC also says they are “uninterested in taking him on as a student.”