Philosophy of the Missing Nalgene
2019-09-16
PLEASE NOTE: This is old news but the basic underlying philosophy of the situation remains quite nearly unchanging. The numbermore
The Michael Rose Question
2019-09-14
“Michael Rose: Sweet as a flower, scary as a bee.” So claims an unnamed sophomore in fear for their risiblemore
Frassati Incident Propels New Candidate Into WCC Presidential Race: Pako
2019-09-11
Lander, WY – After a terrible attack upon his life, honor, and mental health under the formality of being offeredmore
Flying Bear-O-Dactyl Terrifies Lander
2019-09-10
Lander, WY – Terrifying the citizens of Lander from the moment it first appeared on the horizon, a flying creaturemore
Update: IIT Bible in Progress
2019-09-05
Since we first mentioned our plan to make a new translation of the Bible, we changed its name, and aremore
School Wi-Fi Down Five Consecutive Days
2019-09-03
Lander, WY – Sparking new concerns over the school’s level of preparedness for other possible contingencies, the massive Wi-Fi outagemore
Vir Spicus
2019-09-03
The “man of spice” and maybe all things nice, Matthew K. Kubisch has certainly caused a storm over his lastmore
Sparta Strikes Again – More Danger Soon to Come?
2019-09-02
Our 200th Article! Pinedale, WY – Known as the Tannerite Fire, a nem shared with that of a famous explosivemore
Sophomore’s Name Spelled Wrong Again
2019-08-29
Lander, WY – In what should no longer come as a surprise to anybody, Anne Zelden’s name was misspelled yetmore
Opinion: We Need To Takeover Canada
2019-08-28
While we all know that Canada as a country is non-existent in the matter of fact, this fairy tale landmore
Your Official Guide to the WCC Class of 2023
2019-08-25
Well, they’re here! WCC officially has new Freshmen Rockers, fifty-four of them in fact. This is four students less thanmore
WCCLE 5 Protest: Forms Twenty-Eight Foot Human Chain
2019-08-24
Embed from Getty Images Echoing the demonstrations now taking place in Hong Kong against Chinese tyranny, the surviving members ofmore
IIT Commemorates the Lost Boys
2019-08-24
PLEASE NOTE: NO ONE ACTUALLY DIED ALL THIS IS MADE UP FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORY! Today marks themore
Blaise the bla-zea Pirate
2019-08-24
Blaise Galbraith, hero of the WCC Class of 22 Freshmen Dance, and a well-known heavy metal rocker, shocked his classmatesmore
Rumor: Cyril/Destiny May Have Been Forced Out
2019-08-23
Lander, WY – Even as the WCC community and the Class of 2022 in particular braces for the loss ofmore
Squad Plans to move to Bigger Table
2019-08-22
Lander, WY: The “studying squad” famous for their rigid use and omnipresence at the far table in the Wyoming Catholicmore
Asthma Skit
2019-08-20
WFR, the Wilderness First Responder course, is going on at Wyoming Catholic College now and many of our staff attendingmore
A Short Guide to Understanding the Dating Culture At Wyoming Catholic College
2019-08-14
The dating culture at Wyoming Catholic College may seem complicated to the perspective dater. In fact, the dating culture atmore
Class of 2023 Arrives in Lander
2019-08-11
Lander, Wyoming – And now there are officially new Freshmen Rockers. The Class of 2023 arrived in Lander last weekmore
5 Reasons to Join MetalMatch
2019-08-11
As many of you may know, Irkutsk Ice Truckers has created a state-of-the-art social media platform built for metalheads, WCCmore
New Student Life Officer to Bring “Enlightened Mindset” to Office
2019-08-09
California “surfer dude” Joe Frederickson will now be assisting in running the WCC Student Life Office as Lander radio stationmore
Cult of the Tree of Life Disinvited From Amazon Synod
2019-08-07
UPDATE AUGUST 7, 2019 6 AM MST: Cardinal Schuster made a comment at 10am Wednesday morning Dusseldorf time, saying thatmore
IIT Publishes First Print Book – Now Available In Paperback
2019-08-07
And it’s here. The wisdom of ages. The humor of transcendent deity with which we’re “chummy”. Irkutsk Ice Truckers ismore
Cowboy Reading Hours Face Pushback
2019-08-05
New York, NY – The charity efforts of Irkutsk Ice Truckers’ sponsored organization Metal4Kids appear to be facing new pushbackmore
WCC Cats Declared Dead
2019-07-31
Lander, Wyoming – Seven months after they were last seen by their Freshmen owners, the seven cats of the sevenmore
Opinion: Mik is NOT a Russian Agent
2019-07-28
Yes, he did at one point call himself “the Russian”. Yes, he did troll work like that so clichely associatedmore
WCC Announces Cell-Phone Pilot Program
2019-07-25
Lander, WY – In an attempt to “ease certain requirements which may adversely impact student’s performance”, Wyoming Catholic College announcedmore
IIT Res Quae Sumus
2019-07-25
Well, I just realized that we’ve been around for nearly nine months and we haven’t really given an account ofmore
Pre-Season Rundown: The 2019-2020 Dating Scene
2019-07-23
Lander, Wyoming – It’s July 2019, about a week before the new Freshmen are set to arrive, three weeks beforemore
Andrew Russell Promo
2019-07-22
Already probably the most recognizable of the Class of 2022 Student Rockers, with his own cult, website, course, and moremore
Theo – Ready For Action
2019-07-22
Sporting a radical new hairstyle, for him, holding a gun with his hand on the trigger, and facing you, almostmore
Opinion: What Class Are We All In?
2019-07-21
The question. “Ohh you’re in college… what year are you?” As a homeschooler, I always preferred the numerical answer tomore
IIT Explains: The C.O.R. Expedition
2019-07-19
Speaking, or that is writing, as a member of the WCC Class of 2022, nearly all of us have beenmore
Amazonchurch Launches With “Church-in-a-Box-Kits”, “Parishioner-Facing” Focus
2019-07-16
Sao Paulo, Brazil – The “Amazonian Synod” as it is so often called may be going a little father thanmore
A Thomistic Proof for the Two-Day Weekend
2019-07-12
Well, this idea came from a conversation with Alex Olar back in April. Holy Saturday it was, I think. Asmore
“Mean Guy” Chosen – But It’ll Actually be a Mean Gal
2019-07-11
After months of mixed opinions on WCC’s plan to introduce a new position this year, the “Mean Guy”, reports saymore
Bernadette Overload?
2019-07-11
Lander, WY: As the Class of 2023 starts to take shape, we’re beginning to learn about the most important factormore
IIT Releases Full Reading Packet for Upcoming MTL201 Course
2019-07-09
At IIT we’re proud to be part of making America great. But as you loyal readers know, something’s really onlymore
Priestmobile – Chevy Biretta
2019-07-09
Nashville, TN: In a bid to appeal to the burgeoning market for automobiles for priests, Chevrolet announced plans today formore
WCC Acquires Catholic Familyland in $534 Million Deal
2019-07-07
Steubenville, Ohio: Continuing its acquisition spree, Wyoming Catholic College announced plans today to acquire the Apostolate for Family Consecration. Establishedmore
PUBLIC NOTICE: Freshmen Rockers R. Matthews and E. Flores
2019-07-03
Cult of the Tree of Life Hereby today we declare that Richard F. Matthews and Emily P. Flores were, havingmore
New WCC Interplanetary Branch
2019-07-02
Lander, WY: Astonishing Dr. Grove so much that he gave a normal quiz to his class the next day, severalmore
Food Fight: Spike’s Got the Honey!
2019-07-01
The “Boys of Marathon, the greatest generation”. They created the golden age of Athens, the peak of Sparta’s power, andmore
Mormon Church Launches Investigation into their Lander Missionaries
2019-06-25
Salt Lake City, UT: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Sainthood (LDS) annouced an investigation today into itsmore
WCC Opens WCCLEland Theme Park on Unused Ranch Property
2019-06-25
Lander, WY: After three years of discussion and debate on what to do with the Broken Anvil Ranch they own,more
WCCLE 5 Members Sue OLP Over Faulty Emergency Equipment
2019-06-23
PLEASE NOTE: No one died, the “getting lost” was only in a minor way for a few hours, and theremore
Junior Claims to Have Discovered the Real
2019-06-22
I’ll start out by agreeing that this title is quite cliched. It’s just as common for members of the Classmore
IIT Explains: Dormitory Options for Next Year
2019-06-21
Well, it’s finally been settled. After months of confusion, it appears that the housing options for next semester at WCCmore
Arberys Announce 2020 Re-election Bid
2019-06-20
Lander, WY: Amid a growing field of candidates, Dr. and Dr. Arbery announced their joint bid for re-election today asmore
Archbishop Vigano Will Come Out of Hiding to become C.O.R. Chaplain
2019-06-17
After a year in hiding Archbishop Carlo Vigano is set to return in an unlikely place, as one of themore
May 2019 Statistics: Record Security Enforcement/ Dating Levels
2019-06-16
Lander, WY – The Lander, Wyoming crime rate continued to skyrocket in May as WCC Security chief Andrew Matthews todaymore
Pastor Stunned to Discover Family Spends More Time at Church than Him
2019-06-15
APPLETON, WI—Fr. Angus of St. Timothy Catholic Church in Appleton appeared on EWTN today “surprised and amazed” at his discoverymore
Your Guide to the WFR Course
2019-06-11
Well, for those twenty-five or so of us who are doing it, WFR is in two months. But how manymore
A Computer Wrote This Dialogue
2019-06-11
Illustrating the incredible power of Irkutsk Ice Truckers’ supercomputers, this dialogue was written by a computer neural network with commentarymore
Cardinal’s “Innovative Solution” the same as WCC Student’s
2019-06-10
“Let’s lift the restriction on everything. Boom, there it is, we’ve solved the problem of sin!” Blaise The Sick andmore
A Message from Everett
2019-06-07
“I always suspected you of having a close relationship with Mr. Polinski.” Dr. Stanley Grove Speaking to a high upmore
Sponsored Pre-Mass Announcements
2019-06-05
In a plan sure to be replicated around the world St. Joe’s Catholic Church of Atlanta, Georgia has “innovatively” decidedmore
WCC Finally Adds Adversity Scoring to Admissions
2019-06-04
Lander, WY: After years of “ignoring the problem” as student organization Cowboys for Social Justice claims, Wyoming Catholic College hasmore
Milligans Now An Endangered Species Says WCC Nature Club
2019-06-02
Lander, WY: While two of the Milligan species are reported to still be residing in Lander, and two others attendmore
“To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before…”
2019-06-01
Lander, WY: Confusion is spreading among the WCC Rockers after this above photo leaked to multiple news sources today. Apparently,more
The Fake Peloponnesian War
2019-05-29
Why would Athens and Sparta, so recently having fought off the Persians, so soon find some of their own involvedmore
Nemec Report Released
2019-05-26
After a two-year long investigation into Russian meddling in the 2014 WCC Presidential Selection process, Special Counsel Joe Nemec ismore
Philosophy 403: Philosophy of Life and Death
2019-05-26
“You just spent eight semesters studying Philosophy, I want you to forget all that.” With these bold words two WCCmore
Coffee Dipping May Be Addictive Warns New IIT Report
2019-05-25
Lander, May 24: A new IIT study into the effects of “coffee-dipping” finds no link between it and foot-injuriesmore
Ruthie’s Family
2019-05-24
After large public interest in Ruth’s “Possee” IIT decided to look closer into this question, and after having interviewed numerous claimed members of this family, we decided to actually talk to Ruth herself, her side of the story sorely lacking from out last “hot take”, then being on Ruth’s family.
New IIT T-Shirts Coming
2019-05-22
Write to everett.polinski@irkutskicetruckers.com to reserve yours or fill out the form below or at this link If we get ordersmore
Holmes Theology Recounts
2019-05-22
From IIT Chairman Everett himself, how he got into the WCC Curriculum It was the first day of finals. Everyonemore
Student Survives Visit to TAC without Mortal Injury
2019-05-19
Taken from his cell-phone JohnJohn here shows the place from which he so narrowly escaped with his life Thursday. WCCmore
Proposal to Make Crux into a Saloon Gaining Traction
2019-05-18
Crux Coffee Though already quite popular as it is, a new IIT survey and a computer analysis of its resultsmore
New Serious WCC Freshman Endeavor
2019-05-15
Freshmen Anne and Emily, aiming to redeem opinions of the Class of 2022 from being solely satirical and unserious, havemore
Bubbles are Now Approved Liturgical Blessing
2019-05-14
Lander/Dusseldorf- After two WCC freshmen performed the practice of liturgical bubble blessing a week ago, several German bishops have declaredmore
New “Mean Guy” Job Created – Students Speechless
2019-05-14
A recent leak from the Student Life office has brought the new work-study position of “Mean Guy” to the forefront.more
Senior Involved in Phone-Trafficking Attempt
2019-05-09
Can you believe that anyone could fall for this? A graduating senior just last night sent out this bombshell offer,more
BREAKING: Spons Verberans Goes Missing
2019-05-09
Reported just thirty minutes ago by Freshman Rocker Olivia, the much acclaimed “Spons Verberans cult object has gone missing. Seemore
Attack on WCC – Reported TAC Connection
2019-05-07
Yes this is a real image – taken from the WCC dorms last week Righteous tempers are flaring up atmore
Hotel Vacuum Brings Joy As it Stays Found
2019-05-07
Joy from this – Ohh yeah! In what is being called a historic moment for the school’s cleanliness, the onemore
MetalMatch: Dating – By Irkutsk
2019-05-07
Find your true metalhead love – now made easier by MetalMatch by IIT Simply input your information and we setmore
As You Study for Theology
2019-05-06
Dr. Holmes at QuisQuid last February So tomorrow is the big day we’ve all neglected to study for.more
Marley Claims Ping-Pong Attack
2019-05-04
Marley Decker In a strange situation Tuesday, Marley K. Decker, a WCC Freshperson reported a terrifying encounter with the verymore
Immersion through Metal
2019-05-03
“This is the most heavy-metal book of the Bible,” argues Freshman Rocker Blaise about the book of Judges in hismore
Gender Neutral Patronages: School To House Men in Dorm Consecrated to St. Scholastica
2019-04-30
St. Scholastica In a move that has proved quite shocking to some, the shake-up so recently announced among WCC dormitoriesmore
School Released Couple Chart With Errors
2019-04-30
New details are emerging today about how April’s Student Couple Chart had several “very obvious mistakes”. Assembled as it alwaysmore
“Ruth’s Posse” Swoops Into Lander: Who Are They Really?
2019-04-28
The Possee, harem, “Friends of Ruth”, actors, or … Who are they really? They’re back. Once again “a bunch ofmore
Her and Holmes: Launching May 1
2019-04-27
Poster imagined and created by ETBmugbug&bros Irkutsk Ice Truckers is pleased to announce the May 1st launch of its newmore
Marxist Trend Concerns Spark New Freshmen Course
2019-04-27
After analysis into the disappearance of musical items from the room of Mr. Floody, students and school officials have quicklymore
Freshmen Class Reaches Dating Parity: Lower Level of Pseudo-Dating than Expected
2019-04-27
New Technology is Bringing Valuable Information to Assist the WCC Dating Office in Reducing Pseudo-Dating Rates With dating having recentlymore
Undercover Operations Around Lander
2019-04-25
WCC students and residents of the surrounding community are chilled by reports of multiple groups of ghostly figures climbing, wandering,more
You Won’t Believe How She Got All This for Free!
2019-04-25
Hundreds of college t-shirts pile in a corner of her dorm room. On her dresser stand two dozen water bottlesmore
Ban the Joe: Get Joe to Come Here
2019-04-23
The symbol of the cause Many WCC students are mourning the loss of Joe B. to University of Dallas. Amore
Easter Vigil: Parish Discrimination Claims
2019-04-23
In an angry torch procession, local parishioners of Holy Rosary Catholic Church protested “unjust discrimination” against them in regards tomore
Leaks in Room C: Possible Sabotage
2019-04-23
The room in question Baldwin’s Room C was closed for classes for much of last month after strange leaks causedmore
Liturgical Fashion Show Launches in Lander
2019-04-22
In a move long awaited by culture starved Lander, several WCC students are launching Wyoming’s very first liturgical fashion show.more
Euclidean Scandal
2019-04-19
Scandal erupted Wednesday” in Geometry (MTH 102) class at Wyoming Catholic College when it was discovered that a “phone” wasmore
Washutian History?
2019-04-18
WCC’s new Dean, Professor Washut, has a strange and storied history, as is just now being revealed. Apparently as thismore
Cell Phone Rings in Philosophy Class
2019-04-18
An already raucous Philosophy class was further disturbed Tuesday by a suddenly pronounced buzzing noise. Everyone looked around. Of course itmore
Irkutsk Needs You – Let’s Get Us An Ice Cream Shop
2019-04-16
As you’ve probably heard by now, WCC is opening an addendum to Crux that will serve: Ice Cream. They’re lookingmore
Back in Black: Nemec Returns to his Heavy Metal Roots
2019-04-15
Nemec – (left) from our most recent picture before his hair alteration Joseph Nemec stunned his class Friday with radicalmore
As You Write About Thucydides
2019-04-13
So we’re all scrambling, right? Err, not in reference to those things which we usually fry though sometimes scramble, but themore
Milestone: Augur Water Fountain Reaches 10,000 WBEs
2019-04-12
In what WCC is calling “an incredible milestone for the whole community”, the water bottle filling station in Augur hasmore
The War on Good Math
2019-04-12
Its quite rare that we see a true analysis of the real mathematical situation here at the school, so whenmore
Salad Dressing News But Concerns Remain
2019-04-01
WCC Students received a notice several weeks ago about new salad dressing options, a positive for the few compulsive detractorsmore
Dumpster Diving: A Moral Imperative and Right
2019-03-15
In the latest controversy to erupt among the freshmen rockers and upperclassmen at WCC is the question of the moralmore
Shut Up and Die? – Yes Its Finally Here!
2019-03-12
Shut Up and Die? Yes it came here This stunning video leaked to the public today shows members of themore
As You Write About Theology
2019-03-09
Tonight our theology papers are due, that is in 20 minutes… So think about your papers but also more importantlymore
Irkutsk Ice Weddings
2019-03-07
Now marry your metalhead love in a traditional style with a new modern twist. On special permission from the Archdiocesemore
Pako’s Pawn
2019-03-05
Were proud to announce a new partnership with Pako and his Pako’s Pawn emporium. Operating from the upper level ofmore
Flashback: Successful Hotel “Raid” – November 2018
2019-02-27
Back in November of 2018 this happened in St. Leo’s dormitory, a horrible smell arrived, a mystery to behold. Yetmore
Explosion/Attack on St. John’s
2019-02-22
St. John’s Dormitory according to a contraband I-Phone photographer who wishes to remain anonymous Yesterday, February 20th at around 9:40more
Rumor: Student May Have Gone Missing for Months
2019-02-21
Although he was found and returned after his escapades with the infamous Lost Boys Fifth Regiment, Cyril A. Patton ismore
Speed Dating and Sacrifice
2019-02-18
It was quite a mixed night for one Matthew T. Kubisch – and in mixed ways. Fresh off from winningmore
Pseudo-C Sophomore Club
2019-02-18
THE Legion Continuing our long-standing tradition of supporting the social and liberal arts, Irkutsk Ice Truckers is now proud tomore
Antipersonnel Virus
2019-02-16
Wyoming Catholic now apparently faces a terrible epidemic of missing items and email messages that may or may not bemore
2019 Freshmen Actus Maxissimus ?
2019-02-08
Was this so-called dance event really a dance, or a deadly reenactment of the Roman Circuses? With the widespread newsmore
Euclid Was Wrong
2019-01-29
Everett Polinski and new IIT associate mathematician Aretari Polinski announce their latest discovery today. Through an infinite progression of rightmore